Dear Charlie,
You are invited to my birthday party. It is on Wednesday at three o’clock in my house. You are the only boy coming but you don’t have to wear a dress. Mummy says hitting is not allowed. I would like a doll.
Love
Laura x
Dear Charlie,
Mummy says I have to write and say thank you for the doll. But you cannot come to my house ever again because Daddy says you are a holy terror.
Love
Laura x
1989
Hi Charlie,
Jenny said she saw you kissing Susan Vine at the school disco last week when I had chickenpox. I don’t believe her, but why did you ignore me at the bus stop? I know I still look a bit spotty, but I’m not contagious any more.
Helen x
Charlie,
I saw the hickey on Susan Vine’s neck. I hope your you-know-what falls off. I’m going to snog Patrick Maher on Friday. I hate you.
Helen
1999
Dear Charlie,
I love you more than life itself. More than I have ever loved anyone before – even Jimmy Nolan. I can’t believe I’ve found my soulmate at last. I love you, honey lips.
Kate xxxxx
P.S. I’ve been thinking what we should call our future children . How about Jack for a boy and Jill for a girl? Wouldn’t that be adorable?
Love you xx
Charlie,
You are a self-centred, heartless asshole. I cannot believe you have done this to me. I have burned all your pathetic love sonnets – they mean nothing now that I know the truth about you. I hope you rot in hell.
Kate
2009
To: Charlie
From: Rex
Re: You fat bastard
Hey Charlie, you fat bastard,
Sorry about tying you to that telephone pole on your stag night, but it was pretty funny. Who was that bird you were talking to in the club? Can you get me her number? She had a great rack.
Rex
To: Charlie
From: Lulu
Re: You
Hey naughty boy,
Hope you enjoyed your stag night . . . If you want to get naughty again, give me a call . . .
Lulu xx