Extract from : Footnotes to Sex

The Letter

May lay awake waiting for Jansen to get back. Chère Francine, she went through the letter in her head, J’ai bien reçu ta lettre qui m’a fait très plaisir. She was running out of days. If she had wanted to send the letter, she should have sent it that morning, on her way to work, or yesterday; last week, if she’d wanted Francine to get it on time. How are you? And how was the conference in Canada? I am well, and still of course planning on doing the PhD . . . Having wasted another day of her life, going over ‘exam techniques’ with nine-year-olds, May listened to the guitar-player upstairs practising his endless scales. She could always have put in her earplugs, but Jansen would be home in less than an hour, and that meant May couldn’t get to sleep anyway. She was aware that at any moment there might be the clickety-clack of the door key, and then Jansen would appear, as she finally did, in her navy-blue uniform, a large leather bag in one hand, a quiet . . .

‘Booboo?’

May pretended to be asleep. Jansen went towards the bathroom with a newspaper. She’d be ages.

‘I’m awake.’

‘Can I turn on the light?’

‘No, I’m sleeping.’

‘May, I’m sorry, but I need to iron my shirt for tomorrow.’

‘Can’t you wear that one again?’

Jansen clicked on the bedside lamp.

‘Why can’t you do it tomorrow?’ May pulled herself up in bed.

‘I could, but why don’t we have a hot drink together. I really need to unwind.’ Jansen set up the ironing board next to the kitchenette, and got the iron out from under the sink. ‘People are in such a rush out there! I was at the lights on my way to a pickup this morning, and there was this woman and I could see her. She was looking at me, and she was waving her arms around, she was going, “Come on! Come on!” I just glided slowly past her, and I thought, poor woman, if she’s getting so upset about five seconds! The other day I was pulling out from a park, and I’d looked both ways. I pulled out, and then suddenly BEEEEEEEEP! I had a passenger in the car at the time. I said to him, “Boy! I didn’t even see that coming,” and he said, “He must’ve been booting it round the corner!”’ She held the iron under the tap, and filled the steam-chamber with water.

‘I didn’t send it, by the way,’ May told her.

‘Mm-hmm.’ Jansen plugged in the iron.

‘Does that mean you don’t want to talk about it?’ May said.

Jansen started ironing the collar. The iron wouldn’t be hot yet.

There was no point. She rearranged the shirt, and started on the sleeves.

‘That iron’s not hot enough yet, is it?’

‘May, would you just leave me to iron my shirt? I can do it without your help.’

‘It’s not doing anything, is it though? You may as well be doing something else . . . while it heats up.’

Jansen began ironing the other sleeve.

‘You could be getting me a hot drink,’ May suggested.

‘Would you like a hot drink, May?’

‘Yes, please.’ May didn’t really want a hot drink, but Jansen liked to have one in the evening.

‘I’ll make you half a cup. You never finish it anyway. Shall we share one?’ Jansen got a cup out of the cupboard.

‘I’m just wondering whether I should send it to her at all.’

‘May, I’m really exhausted. I don’t feel like talking about Francine.’

‘My PhD,’ May corrected her.

‘Or the PhD.’

‘I’ve just got to decide whether I’m going to send it or not.’

‘You don’t have to decide tonight.’

May’s throat hurt. ‘Could I just tell you what I’ve put again?’

‘I know what you’ve put.’

‘I’ve changed it slightly.’

‘I don’t want to hear it, May.’ (That was a definite ‘no’. May waited in silence for her coffee.) ‘They sent four of us out to the airport,’ Jansen laughed as she crouched down to get the milk out of the fridge, ‘but it turned out they only needed one car. So three of us had to go back to the bin to wait for another job.’ She put the coffee on the bedside table, and went back to ironing again, a smile lingering.

‘That’s not funny. That’s irritating, isn’t it?’ It was irritating the way Jansen laughed off annoying situations.

‘It’s what happens, May.’ ( Jansen would be wearing a jersey over that shirt. There was no point in ironing it. Or she could just iron the collar.) ‘Then I got three lawyers,’ Jansen went on, ‘in a row: no tips, no tips, no tips. And that was my day.’ She unplugged the iron, and stood it on the bench.

‘How come four of you were sent out? Shouldn’t it be more organized?’

‘Yes.’

Jansen got into her pyjamas and came to bed. Then, as always, they had a long talk: one of Jansen’s passengers had left her a pamphlet on Trees for London, she said, and she was wondering about giving people birch trees for Easter; you didn’t actually get a tree, but you got a little card saying a tree had been planted for you. What did May think? May said she liked the idea and could she please just tell Jansen what she had added to the letter – only the addition – and Jansen said no, because that would get May thinking about it, and then she wouldn’t sleep; and then May said she was thinking about it anyway, and Jansen said go on then, and May did. She was so lucky really; who else had a wonderful Jansen in her life? Even if Jansen just crept into bed, she and May would often end up talking and talking late into the night, until perhaps Jansen would start drifting off, and May would say, as she did this evening: ‘Are you going to sleep now? I hate going to sleep. It means it’ll be morning when I wake up.’ She was a realist; she liked to be prepared for all disasters, even if it meant she was grinding her teeth down to little stumps in the process. No wonder she needed so much sleep.

‘You’re so unromantic! How could I have got together with someone so unromantic?’

May wasn’t a performer, that was for sure, but she did love Jansen.