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| Hereditary Position: Saviour
of the human race. Sex Clearance: Expired. Which is probably just as well, since in his current state, women are going to look at him and puke. Physical Appearance: Squashed Zeppelin. With a head in a jar of green gloop attached to a deep, shiny blue revival suit. Frankly, extremely disturbing. Distinguishing Characteristics: Unluckiest man in the cosmos. |
| Hereditary Position: Security Sex Clearance: Chemical reproduction only. Physical Appearance: Square-jawed. Crew-cut. And Big. Shirt-burstingly huge. Distinguishing Characteristics: A handy letter on his forehead will help to distinguish him from his fellow Drones. |
| Hereditary Position: Science Officer Sex Clearance: You wish. Physical Appearance: Think wood nymph. Then think again. Scary Spice has nothing on her. Distinguishing Characteristics: Possibly the only sane member of the crew. |
| Hereditary Position: Priest Sex Clearance: Like he cares. Think cameras in the ladies' shower room, corny video titles, readers' wives... Physical Appearance: Rat slime. Distinguishing Characteristics: A life-long commitment to atheism (bit of a handicap to a man of his calling). |
| Hereditary Position: Science Officer Sex Clearance: This woman is the abstention society's wet dream. Physical Appearance: Somewhat like a widow from Renaissance Venice. Or a nun. Distinguishing Characteristics: When not denouncing Dr Morton as the demon spawn of Satan (with full papal authority, mind), she may be found giving herself a soul-preserving cruel whipping. |
| Hereditary Position: Community
Director Sex Clearance: Very scary thought. Physical Appearance: Unkempt, unwashed, greasy hair, pimple-patterned face, dental braces. Basically, your typical adolescent. Distinguishing Characteristics: Way, way too young to be Mission Commander. |
| Hereditary Position: Hmmm. Psychopathic murderer? Sex Clearance: You'd better hope not. Physical Appearance: Used to be changeable at the best of times. Now, as if he wasn't scary enough, they've given him ball-squidging pincers for hands, huge blocks of metal for feet... Distinguishing Characteristics: Be afraid. Be very afraid. |
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