Haikus

To celebrate the publication of the hilarious collection of Painfully British Haikus, we've teamed up with the nation's favourite gift shop, Flying Tiger to giveaway a bundle of their bestselling goodies. 

To win this perfect little stocking filler and tote bag of goodies, enter your details below. 

There will be five winners. 

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Terms and conditions:

1. No purchase necessary to enter the prize draw.

2. This prize draw is open to UK residents aged 18 years or over, with the exception of employees of the Promoter, their families, agents and anyone else connected with this promotion.

3. Entries must be received by 3rd December at 23.59. The Promoter accepts no responsibility for any entries that are incomplete, illegible, corrupted or fail to reach the Promoter by the relevant closing date for any reason. Proof of posting or sending is not proof of receipt. Automatically generated entries and entries via agents or third parties are invalid and will not be counted. Entries become the property of the Promoter and are not returned.

4. Only one entry per person. No entrant may win more than one prize.

5. To enter fill in your details on the online form above and submit them using the button above.

6. All valid and correctly completed entries will be entered into a prize draw which will take place on 4th December 2019. There will be five winners.

7. 5 winners will receive 1 x copy of Painfully British Haikus, 1 x tote bag, 1 x carrot sharpener, 1 x notepad, 1 x magnetic speech bubble magnets, 1 x grass man, 2 x pens, 1 x Sour UFOs, 1 x touchscreen pen, 1 x bag of gummy bears.

8. The Promoter shall not be liable for any costs or expenses arising out of or in any way connected with this prize and does not accept any responsibility for any damage, loss or disappointment suffered by the winner as a result of accepting this prize.

9. Prizes are subject to availability. In the event of unforeseen circumstances, the Promoter reserves the right (a) to substitute alternative prizes of equivalent or greater value and (b) in exceptional circumstances to amend or foreclose the promotion without notice. No correspondence will be entered into.

10. The winners will be notified via email or post by 9th December 2019. The winners must claim their prize within 30 working days of the Promoter sending a notification. If the prize is unclaimed after this time, it will lapse and the Promoter reserves the right to offer the unclaimed prize to a substitute winner selected in accordance with these rules.

11. By entering this competition, all entrants consent to the use of their personal data by the Promoter for the purposes of running the competition as detailed in these terms and conditions.  Details on how we process the personal data of entrants can be found in our Privacy Policy

12. This competition is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by or associated with Facebook.  You acknowledge that all information and material that you submit to enter this competition is submitted to the Promoter and not Facebook] and you agree that Facebook shall not be liable to you in any way in respect of this competition.

13. Promoter may disqualify any entrant whose entry does not comply with these terms and conditions (in Promoter’s sole opinion) or who, in Promoter’s sole determination, has acted in a manner that is fraudulent, dishonest or unjust to other entrants including, without limitation, tampering with the operation of the prize draw, manipulating or rigging votes, hacking, deceiving, cheating or by harassing or threatening other entrants or a representative of Promoter. 

14. By entering the prize draw each entrant agrees to be bound by these terms and conditions.

15. The Promoter is Penguin Books Limited, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL

16. These terms and conditions are governed in accordance with the laws of England and Wales. 

  • Painfully British Haikus

  • 'Will make everybody laugh' DOLLY ALDERTON ON THE HIGH LOW

    Enjoy this hilarious collection of over 200 haikus that sum up the complex, confusing and often compounding character of the British people.

    The Sellotape end
    Unlocatable it seems
    Christmas is cancelled

    How many gin tins
    Is decreed appropriate
    For this train journey?

    The sound of a splash
    My Hobnob falls to pieces
    My tea is sullied

    Every houseplant
    Suffers a slow painful death
    I am a monster

    You're at the seaside
    A seagull eyes your Magnum
    You won't win that fight

  • Buy the book

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