Do words fail you? Never again, once you've become the proud owner of The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary.
Every word has a meaning, but over the years those meanings change. Dip into these helpfully illustrated pages and you'll find many of the words you use every day without ever realising that their up-to-date definition is something entirely different.
Words like 'bunny' (rather like a bun), or 'cherish' (rather like a chair), 'Cardiology' (the study of knitwear) or 'buggery' (the study of insects), 'Venezuala' (a gondola with a harpoon) or 'Norway' (a Geordie exclamation of surprise), 'ivy' (the Roman for "four") or 'faculty' (cockney for "there's no more PG Tips").
Thanks to The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary you can now use familiar, everyday words in total confidence, fully appraised of their latest meanings. Happy wording!
Know your Mornington Crescent from your Cheddar Gorge?
Are you partial to a bad-tempered clavier?
Would you like some unhelpful travel advice?
Featuring the very best moments from a forty-year history of broadcasting, Stephen Fry introduces this indispensable companion to I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, the Radio 4 comedy series which attracts millions of listeners each week.
Featuring hilarious excerpts from the show's favourite games including: The Uxbridge English Dictionary, Famous First Words, the Trail of the Lonesome Pun and Late Arrivals as well as much much more, this book is essential for Clue fans young and old.
For those new to Clue, there's a Beginner's Guide on how to play Mornington Crescent and numerous games which are fun and easy to play at home and guaranteed to entertain.
In this fifteenth collection of the perennial antidote to panel games, regulars Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden – and special guests Rob Brydon, Jeremy Hardy, Victoria Wood and Ross Noble – are given silly but hilarious things to do by chairman Jack Dee. So join Jack and company in these perennial favourites: ‘New Definitions’, ‘Swanee Kazoo’, ‘One Song to the Tune of Another’, ‘Sound Charades’ and last, but certainly not least, ‘Mornington Crescent.’ Other exciting rounds include ‘84 Chicken Cross Road', 'Complete Bellocs' and 'Grassington's Got Talent.' Listeners will know to expect inspired nonsense, pointless revelry and Colin Sell at the piano. Warning: some listeners may find the content offensive.
2 CDs. 2 hrs 30 mins.
A collection of hilarious stories and eye-popping anecdotes from the nation's best-loved comedian
Barry Cryer is one of the most respected and admired writers and performers of his time. In a career spanning forty years, Barry has worked alongside the greatest producers and performers in show business: Tommy Cooper, Humphrey Lyttelton, Morecambe and Wise, Willie Rushton, Peter Cook, Kenny Everett, Rory Bremner to name but a few - this book is a veritable Who's Who of comedy.
From humble beginnings at the Windmill Theatre and Expresso Bongo, to The Frost Report, Call My Bluff and I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue, Barry recalls the good, the bad, and the downright ugly in his own inimitable style.
'Barry Cryer ...an anecdote jukebox whose whole life is basically one big chatshow.'
Hello there! You'll have had your tea? Dougal here. Well, here we go, with our wee book. It's a collection or pot pourri (I've no idea what Hamish means by that - it sounds like something to do with the Pope) of our activities or 'doings' in the village we call home, because that's exactly what it is.
Together with our housekeeper, Mrs Naughtie, and of course, the Laird who lives up at the big hoose and shoots grouse and other bottles of whisky, these are the actual scripts of our wee show which we performed on the wireless, when most of you were probably in bed!
Hamish and I have known each other all our lives - well, not yet, obviously! We have a very close relationship and also with each other. Mrs Naughtie been with us since we first met her at the Krankie Arms, where she was working as part-time barmaid and bouncer.
In addition to the scripts you'll find all kinds of other things tucked away under its kilt. There's a hectic social life in the village. You'll visit the 'bide a wee' café, proud possessor of three Michelin tyres. You'll have a conducted tour of the big hoose by Big Tam, our local guide (not during opening hours). You'll marvel at the site of the Battle of Auchtermuchty, now allotments. You'll peek into the Laird's social diary in 'oot and aboot' (40p at the post office). And a great deal more.
Well, I hope this wee note will make you hurry to the till and spend the terrible amount of money these wee books cost these days. But then again this particular wee book is Scotland's answer to Richard and Judy! Hurrah!
Away now ...
Humph in Wonderland stars chairman Humphrey Lyttelton in the title role, with Tony Hawks as the Narrator, Sandi Toksvig as the Queen of Hearts, Tim Brooke-Taylor as the Duchess, Graeme Garden as the Cook and Barry Cryer as Humpty Dumpty. Andy Hamilton also features as the Caterpillar, with Rob Brydon as the Mad Hatter, Jeremy Hardy as the March Hare, Jack Dee as the Cheshire Cat and Colin Sell as the White Rabbit. Among the fun and games are: 'Mornington Crescent', 'Swanee Kazoo', 'Cheddar Gorge', new definitions for the 'Uxbridge English Dictionary', as well as 'Recipes for Nigella Lawson’s Saucy Mouthfuls' (she makes a great sticky tart). Including 20 minutes of bonus material not heard on transmission, this thoroughly daft take on Lewis Carroll is also a fitting tribute to the late, and much-missed, Humphrey Lyttelton.
1 CD. 1 hr 10 mins.
In 1958 Barry Cryer had a Number 1 hit record in Finland with the song 'Purple People Eater' by Sheb Wooley. Over his 50-year career he has written for, among many, Morecambe and Wise, Bruce Forsyth, Tommy Cooper, Frankie Howerd, Bob Hope and Richard Pryor. He is a comedy legend.
Graeme Garden is one third of the Goodies. He is also a comedy legend.