Books

Kill ’Em All

John Niven

The long-awaited sequel to KILL YOUR FRIENDS - preorder now!

It is 2017 – the time of Trump, Brexit and fake news. And time for the return of Steven Stelfox, exactly twenty years on from his Britpop heyday.

Now forty-seven and rich beyond the dreams of avarice, Stelfox works only occasionally as a music industry ‘consultant’. A fixer. A problem solver. He’s had a call from his old friend James Trellick, now president of Unigram, one of the largest record companies in America. Trellick has a huge headache on his hands in the shape of...

Lucius Du Pre. The biggest pop star on earth. Well, once the biggest pop star on earth. Now he’s a helpless junkie and a prolific, unrepentant sexual predator. Through a programme of debt restructuring so complex even Trellick can barely understand it, Du Pre is massively in hock to the record company. The only way he can possibly pay it off is to embark on a worldwide comeback tour he’s in no shape to do. The picture is further complicated when the parents of one of Du Pre’s ‘special friends’ begin blackmailing him. If their video gets out, Du Pre’s brand will be utterly toxic and will take Unigram down with it.

Enter Stelfox stage right. Only he has the lack of morality to spin this one. With stealth and cunning he begins to chart a road out of the nightmare and to make a killing in the process. For this age of ‘American carnage’ – of populism, of the lowest common denominator, of the Big Lie – is truly Stelfox’s time to shine. But in this time of uncertainty, nothing is a given.

‘A banging action satirical thriller. But it’s also a proper novel about the Trumpian era, of the reality TV era, the fake news era. It’s managed to say a lot of things in a way that very few other novels are doing and in a very comedic way.’ Irvine Welsh

‘John Niven understands our era better than almost anyone.’ Douglas Coupland

No Good Deed

John Niven

***Now available for preorder: KILL 'EM ALL, the stunning sequel to KILL YOUR FRIENDS***

The viciously funny novel by John Niven, bestselling author of Kill Your Friends and Straight White Male.

What do you do when a homeless man knows your name?

How about when he turns out to be a friend you haven’t seen in twenty years?

Do you treat him to a hot meal and see him on his way?
Give him a wad of middle-class guilt money?
Or take him in and get him back on his feet?

For Alan, there’s no question – only natural that he’d want to see his old mate Craig off the streets, even if only for a few nights, and into some clean clothes.

But what if the successful life you’ve made for yourself – good job, happy marriage, lovely kids, grand Victorian house (you did well out of the property boom, thank you very much) – is one that that your old pal would quite like to have too?

Even if it means taking it from you?

Following the divergent lives of two childhood friends, No Good Deed is a funny and painful examination of friendship, the strange currents of ambition, loathing, pity and affection that flow between people over the decades, and of men getting older as they fail and succeed.

24 Stories

Kathy Burke (and others)

In the early hours of 14 June 2017, a fire engulfed the 24-storey Grenfell Tower in west London, killing at least 72 people and injuring many more. An entire community was destroyed. For many people affected by this tragedy, the psychological scars may never heal.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition that affects many people who have endured traumatic events, leaving them unable to move on from life-changing tragedies. In the immediate aftermath of the fire, the focus was rightly placed on providing food, shelter and health care for those left homeless – but it is important that we don’t lose sight of the psychological impact this fire will have had on its survivors.

24 Stories is an anthology of short stories, written on themes of community and hope, by a mix of the UK’s best established writers and previously unpublished authors, whose pieces were chosen by Kathy Burke from over 250 entries.

Contributors include: Irvine Welsh, A. L. Kennedy, Meera Syal, John Niven, Pauline Melville, Daisy Buchanan, Christopher Brookmyre, Zoe Venditozzi, Nina Stibbe, Mike Gayle, Murray Lachlan Young, Barney Farmer.

The Sunshine Cruise Company

John Niven

Susan Frobisher and Julie Wickham are turning sixty. Susan has just discovered that her recently deceased husband was not only a swinger but had run up a fortune in debts in pursuing his extravagant double life. Julie's not faring better: living in a council house and working in an old people's home, she's desperate for excitement.

When the bank threatens to take Susan's beloved home to clear the debt, the women seek the help of an octogenarian gangster named Nails. Rather than let the bank take everything Susan has, they're going to take the bank. With the help of Nails and a thrill-crazy, wheelchair-bound friend they pull off the daring robbery, and discover that getting away with it is not so easy and that the adventure is only just beginning.

Kill Your Friends

John Niven

NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STARRING NICHOLAS HOULT, ED SKREIN AND JAMES CORDEN.

Meet Steven Stelfox.

London 1997: New Labour is sweeping into power and Britpop is at its zenith. A&R man Stelfox is slashing and burning his way through the music industry, fuelled by greed and inhuman quantities of cocaine, searching for the next hit record amid a relentless orgy of self-gratification.

But as the hits dry up and the industry begins to change, Stelfox must take the notion of cut throat business practices to murderous new levels in a desperate attempt to salvage his career.

Cold Hands

John Niven

You thought you could leave the past behind.

Think again.


Donnie Miller counts himself lucky. Living in a beautiful, spacious house in the wild and remote landscape of central Canada, he spends his days writing for the local newspaper, working on a film script, and acting as house-husband. After a troubled and impoverished upbringing in Scotland, he now has all he wants: a caring wife, a bright and happy son, a generous father-in-law. As the brutal northern winter begins to bite, he can sit back and enjoy life.

But his peace is soon broken. There are noises in the nearby woods, signs of some mysterious watcher. When the family dog disappears, Donnie makes a horrifying discovery. Is it wolves, as the police suspect, or something far more dangerous, far darker? What secrets has Donnie been keeping? And why does he have the terrible sense that his dream was never going to last?

A taut, shocking and visceral novel that will leave you gasping for breath, Cold Hands is the first thriller by the remarkable John Niven.

The Second Coming

John Niven

God takes a look at the Earth around the time of the Renaissance and everything looks pretty good – so he takes a holiday. In Heaven-time this is just a week’s fishing trip, but on Earth several hundred years go by. When God returns, he finds all hell has broken loose: world wars, holocausts, famine, capitalism and ‘fucking Christians everywhere’. There’s only one thing for it. They’re sending the kid back.

JC, reborn, is a struggling musician in New York City, trying to teach the one true commandment: Be Nice! His best chance to win hearts and minds is to enter American Pop Star. But the number one show in America is the unholy creation of a record executive who’s more than a match for the Son of God ... Steven Stelfox.

Straight White Male

John Niven

Kennedy Marr is a novelist from the old school. Irish, acerbic, and a borderline alcoholic and sex-addict, his mantra is drink hard, write hard and try to screw every woman you meet.

He’s writing film scripts in LA, fucking, drinking and insulting his way through Californian society, but also suffering from writers block and unpaid taxes. Then a solution presents itself – Marr is to be the unlikely recipient of the W. F. Bingham Prize for Outstanding Contribution to Modern Literature, an award worth half a million pounds. But it does not come without a price: he must spend a year teaching at the English university where his ex-wife and estranged daughter now reside.

As Kennedy acclimatises to the sleepy campus, inspiring revulsion and worship in equal measure, he’s forced to reconsider his precarious lifestyle. Incredible as it may seem, there might actually be a father and a teacher lurking inside this ‘preening, narcissistic, priapic, sociopath’. Or is there…

Straight White Male is a no-holds-barred look into the mid-life crisis and the contemporary male sexual psyche. It is a brilliant new satire from one of Britain’s sharpest writers.

The Amateurs

John Niven

GARY is a sweet and decent man. Only two things would improve his life - having children with his gorgeous wife Pauline, and a lower golf handicap. Both are unlikely.

PAULINE is wondering how she ended up living in an ugly little house, driving a second-hand car and making a living dressing up as Tinkerbell. She's planning to leave Gary for a self-made carpet millionaire.

FINDLAY, the Carpet King of Scotland, wants to trade in his obese wife for a younger model. But if he goes for a divorce she'll take him to the cleaners. If only there was some way she could be made to disappear...

LEE, Gary's luckless brother, has botched one too many drug deals. Local crime overlord Ranta Campbell gives him one more job - one last chance to get it right. Lee's done some bad things - but murder?

When Gary gets smashed on the head by a golf ball and miraculously develops an absolutely perfect swing, everyone finds their fates rest on the final day of the Open Championship...

Biography

John Niven was born in Irvine, Ayrshire. He is the author of the novella Music from Big Pink and the novels Kill Your Friends, The Amateurs, The Second Coming, Cold Hands, Straight White Male, The Sunshine Cruise Company and No Good Deed.