Hold on to Your Kids

Hold on to Your Kids

Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

Children take their lead from their friends: being 'cool' matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity and codes of behaviour, peer groups are often far more influential than parents.

But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous - it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious and alienated.

In Hold on to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and bestselling author Gabor Maté joins forces with Gordon Neufeld, a psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting. Together they pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to 'reattach' to sons and daughters, establish the hierarchy at home, make children feel safe and understood, and earn back your children's loyalty and love. This updated edition also addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media.

By helping to reawaken our instincts, Maté and Neufeld empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of contact, security and warmth for their children.

'Maté's book will make you examine your behaviour in a new light' Guardian

'bold, wise and deeply moral. [Maté] is a healer to be cherished' Naomi Klein, author of No Logo and The Shock Doctrine

© Gabor Maté 2004 (P) Penguin Audio 2021

Reviews

  • Gabor Maté’s connections—between the intensely personal and the global, the spiritual and the medical, the psychological and the political—are bold, wise and deeply moral. He is a healer to be cherished
    Naomi Klein, author of No Logo and The Shock Doctrine

About the authors

Gabor Maté

A celebrated speaker, and bestselling author, Dr Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development. Rather than offering quick-fix solutions to these complex issues, Dr Maté weaves together scientific research, case histories, and his own insights and experience to present a broad perspective that enlightens and empowers people to promote their own healing and that of those around them.

Dr Maté has written several bestselling books including When the Body Says No, Scattered Minds and co-authored Hold on to Your Kids. His most recent book The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture is a New York Times bestseller. Dr Maté's works have been published internationally in over twenty languages.

Supporters of Dr Maté include Dr Rangan Chatterjee, Bessel van der Kolk, Johann Hari and Esther Perel. He was recently featured in the highly publicised livestream conversation with Prince Harry where they discussed loss, trauma and the importance of healing.
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Gordon Neufeld

Gordon Neufeld PhD, is a Vancouver-based
clinical psychologist, internationally renowned as a foremost authority on child development. His Neufeld Institute delivers many courses he has created for parents, educators, and helping professionals on several continents. He is recognized for his unique ability to unlock the clues to seemingly complex problems of child rearing and education.
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