Nigella Lawson has written eleven bestselling cookery books including the classics How to Eat and How To Be A Domestic Goddess – the book that inspired a whole new generation of bakers. These books, and her TV series, have made her a household name around the world. 
 
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Nigella Lawson

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John Armstrong

Ann Armstrong

Have you ever wondered how typewriters can rival commercial radio? Why, according to John, it's best to shave only once a week, and with old fashioned soap and water? And what the various repercussions of spring and its extra hour of daylight bring? 
 
The BBC created a fantastically cult television series when they filmed the daily operations of John and Ann's double glazing firm U-Fit, the third largest in Coventry. It was here we were first introduced to John's misanthropic musings and no-nonsense attitude to management and his wife Ann's doting loyalty. 
 
Now their individual and highly entertaining personalities have been brought to the page, as they ruminate on various aspects of life from asbos to Buddhism, and Chekov to Maltesers.

The Armstrongs' A-Z Guide to Life

Sebastian Faulks

Robinson Crusoe discovers thousands of ‘half-naked savages’ having it large on Ibiza. 
 
James Bond is on a mission, as a 24-hour call-out plumber. 
 
‘The young stable lad is a moody fellow,’ say reviewers of Wuthering Heights in The Good Hotel Guide. 
 
Hans Christian Andersen gets into the subprime mortgage racket. 
 
Stephen King attempts a love story that doesn’t involve buckets of blood. 
 
Robbie Burns cheers on Andy Murray at Wimbledon. 
 
And Harry Potter is left high and dry when Ginny kicks him out and keeps the house. 
 
Re-mixed and re-imagined, this is literature but not as you know it.

Pistache Returns

Jeremy Beadle

This is the remarkable, and sometimes shocking, life story of one of the most famous faces of British television. Born with a rare disease called Poland Syndrome, which meant he spent most of his first two years in and out of hospital, Jeremy Beadle was brought up in a poor, single-parent family. He was repeatedly expelled from school for his practical jokes before taking on a variety of jobs while writing for shows in his spare time. His big break came when Bob Monkhouse took him on to write for Celebrity Squares. His first show, Game for a Laugh, although being branded as 'vulgar' and subsequently rejected by the BBC, spent five years at the top of the ratings and turned him into a household name. The inter-nationally acclaimed Beadle's About and You've Been Framed took the TV ratings by storm and here he reveals the secret techniques employed and recalls the hilarious disasters from behind the scenes. He breaks his silence over his encounters with the Royals, including the prank he played on Prince Charles and also frankly discusses the nature of 'fame' and the British media, after being branded Britain's second most hated man by Punch. Usually fiercely protective of his family, he talks openly about them for the first time, and of the absent father he never knew.

Watch Out!

P.G. Wodehouse

Set inside Blandings Castle, this comedy series follows Lord Emsworth and his pig Empress as they meet with his dysfunctional family and friends, and the havoc that follows.

EPISODE 4 IN A MAJOR BBC DRAMA STARRING TIMOTHY SPALL, DAVID WALLIAMS AND JENNIFER SAUNDERS 
Baxter returns as summer tutor for Clarence’s grandson George and plans to weasel his way back into permanent employment. 
 
Blandings is threatened by the return of tyrannical secretary Baxter, hired by Connie to put an end to all tom-foolery. This is a tragedy for Clarence and he finds an unusual ally in his grandson George, who had been happily rampaging through the grounds with an air rifle. 
 
It is not long before there is an outbreak of shooting and wounding. Meanwhile, Freddie is back to ask Clarence to clear his debts, this time pursued by East-End gangsters and a beguiling dancer who takes a fancy to Beach. 
 
‘Sublime comic genius’ 
Ben Elton 
 
‘You don't analyse such sunlit perfection, you just bask in its warmth and splendour.’ 
Stephen Fry 
 
‘The funniest writer ever to put words to paper.’ 
Hugh Laurie 
 
‘P.G. Wodehouse remains the greatest chronicler of a certain kind of Englishness, that no one else has ever captured quite so sharply, or with quite as much wit and affection.’ 
Julian Fellowes

Blandings: The Crime Wave at Blandings

(Episode 4)

EPISODE 1 IN A MAJOR BBC DRAMA STARRING TIMOTHY SPALL, DAVID WALLIAMS AND JENNIFER SAUNDERS 
 
Clarence has to get his pig eating again or lose the fat-pig prize to his arch nemesis. 
 
Lord Clarence Emsworth’s pride and joy, the prize-winning pig Empress of Blandings refuses to eat when Cyril the pig-man is jailed by Clarence’s conniving rival Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe. 
 
With the prize’s weigh-in only two-weeks away, Clarence and his gambling, spendthrift son Freddie are desperate to get the Empress to eat. 
 
Meanwhile, Clarence’s sister Connie attempts to thwart her niece Angela’s love affair with ex-cowboy Jimmy and instead find her a more eminent match in the smarmy Heacham – Sir Gregory’s nephew! 
 
'Sublime comic genius' 
Ben Elton 
 
'You don't analyse such sunlit perfection, you just bask in its warmth and splendour.' 
Stephen Fry 
 
'The funniest writer ever to put words to paper.' 
Hugh Laurie 
 
'P.G. Wodehouse remains the greatest chronicler of a certain kind of Englishness, that no one else has ever captured quite so sharply, or with quite as much wit and affection.' 
Julian Fellowes

Blandings: Pig-Hoo-o-o-o-ey!

(Episode 1)

Mark Wallington

From the author of the bestselling 500 Mile Walkies, this is the true story of one man and his bike ... 
 
It was a cold, bleak, British summer morning when intrepid Mark set out to travel the seventeen-hundred miles to Lapland on his bicycle. The land of reindeer nomads and the Midnight Sun had him under its spell. 
 
Suitably equipped with a new locknut A and pivot bolt B, a compass, a pair of sunglasses with only one lens and a Norwegian phrasebook, he was soon to discover the joys of Central Milton Keynes, win a marathon he never ran in Brassington, become stranded on the Yorkshire Dales, pick raspberries in Northumbria and finally catch a train from Newcastle - back to London! 
 
His dreams of obtaining a genuine reindeer hatstand were shattered forever!

Destination Lapland

David Lines

Continuing the tradition of parodying all things sacred, the author of The XXXX Files and PMT takes up the reigns of satire by rewriting the essential 1970s hippy handbook Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Instead of a seagull for a hero, this updated classic features a bloated, cynical, grungy pigeon, who looks not to the skies for inspiration, but to the London Underground. Cutting corners wherever possible and living the life of a fully fledged MTV-generation feral pigeon, Jonathan's rite of passage is more a celebration of modern-day teenage apathy set against a backdrop of 90s Pop Culture and Victorian underground architecture than a voyage of delicious self-discovery. Matching the original page-for-page in content and layout, Jonathan Livingston Trafalgar Square Pigeon is a modern-day morality tale that will, by its very nature, attract plenty of attention whilst ever so gently ruffling a few feathers along the way.

Jonathan Livingston Trafalgar Square Pigeon

Rosy Sherry

BOOBaDOODLE 
verb 
to scribble absent-mindedly on a boob 
noun 
a delightful and amusing work of boob art created with make-up 
 
Last year, Rosy Sherry's boyfriend found out he was at risk of redundancy, so, in an effort to cheer him up, she hit on the idea of 'doodling' on her boob with make-up. He found this utterly hilarious, and the 'BOOBaDOODLE' concept was born! 
 
The BOOBaDOODLE book is a fantastically quirky collection of fun, wacky and intimate doodles for every occasion. Introduce some creative silliness into the bedroom and have a giggle with your make-up. Animals, cartoon characters, celebrities . . . the possibilities are endless. 
 
You'll always get your partner's attention with a BOOBaDOODLE!

Boobadoodle

Damon Beesley

Iain Morris

Following on from last year’s huge Sunday Times bestseller, The Inbetweeners Yearbook, comes The Inbetweeners Script Book, the perfect gift for all die-hard Inbetweeners fan and lovers of fine award-winning literature. 
 
The book features all eighteen scripts of the televised show, each with its own introduction from the writers and creators, Damon Beesley and Iain Morris, sharing behind the scenes stories about filming, the writing process, and the real events that inspired the show’s storylines.

The Inbetweeners Scriptbook

Will Donaldson

Conveniently arranged in alphabetical order, from Abstractions (you'll find them on the Continent, of course') to Weather, Root Around Britain tells the story of a quest. A quest for the essence of Englishness; a quest for a new television series which Mr Root can sell to the fat man in Birmingham; a quest for a peerage and the right way to pay for it ('old money' or 'new money'?); and, finally, a quest for the means to humiliate a nosy neighbour. What could be more English than that?

Root Around Britain

No Such Thing As A Fish

Random House presents The Audiobook of the Year 2018, written and read by the team behind hit podcast No Such Thing as a Fish; James Harkin, Jane Hill, Dan Schreiber, Andrew Hunter Murray and Anna Ptaszynski. 
 
Think you know what happened in 2018? Think again. 
 
Following hot on the heels of the success of The Audiobook of the Year (or, more precisely, twelve months later), The Audiobook of the Year 2018 bravely delves behind the headlines to sniff out the best and most bizarre facts of the past 12 months. 
 
Compiled and written by the creators of the award-winning hit comedy podcast No Such Thing As A Fish, all of whom are researchers for QI, it will establish - among other things - that: 
 
· Britain’s first robot shop assistant was sacked after a week 
· Donald Trump claimed the US sells F52 planes to Norway, even though F52 planes only exist in the game Call of Duty 
· During the Winter Olympics, it was so windy during the Women's Slopestyle Final that every single competitor was blown off her snowboard. 
· A snail racing competition in Plymouth was postponed because the snails were too 'sluggish' to take part. 
 
Ranging from the distinctly offbeat to the wonderfully ludicrous - from the South Africans who were rationed to just one toilet flush per day, to the Nutella riots spreading across France, via the Miami bitcoin conference that stopped accepting bitcoin - The Audiobook of the Year promises a fact for every occasion and will prove the perfect Christmas gift for all trivia buffs.

The Audiobook of The Year (2018)

The sequel to "500-mile Walkies". When the author set off in a 100-year-old camping skiff to find the source of the Thames, he didn't want to take his dog, Boogie. He would have left him in kennels but the other dogs complained and things do not work out as he planned.

Boogie Up The River

One Man and His Dog to the Source of the Thames

Jilly Cooper

Over the past 21 years Jilly Cooper has written a selection of best-selling books, mixing outrageous anecdotes from the lives of her family and friends with shrewd and wicked social satire and criticism. Men and Super Men was followed by Women and Super Women and then by the devastatingly outspoken bombshell, Class; the poignantly evocative The Common Years; the indispensable How to Survive Christmas and the essential handbook for Nouveau-Rustics, Turn Right at the Spotted Dog. 
 
All these and more provide the material for Angels Rush In, a rich and sparkling selection made and introduced by the author herself.

Angels Rush In

Stephen Fry

A hilarious collection of the many articles written by Stephen Fry for magazines, newspapers and radio. It includes selected wireless essays of Donald Trefusis, the ageing professor of philology brought to life in Fry's novel The Liar, and the best of Fry's weekly column for the Daily Telegraph.

Paperweight: Volume 1

Paperweight: Volume 2

Andy Watt

Have you ever felt that celebrity chefs just aren’t as useful as they could be? 
 
Well, this is the book for you. 
 
Whether you're on holiday, at home or at play, this fully illustrated guide will show you how to get the best out of your favourite celebrity chefs. 
 
From motorbikes to mugs, pepper pots to pinatas and rugs to rolling pins, there's a multitude of uses for every cookery star in the book.

101 Uses for a Celebrity Chef

Tim Benson

Not sure why everyone keeps talking about the weather? 
Can’t tell your Earl Grey from your English breakfast? 
Feeling a wobble in your stiff upper lip? 
 
It sounds like you need a crash course in How to be British. This handy pocket guide brings together 130 classic cartoons covering all the crucial elements of life on our sceptred isle: from queuing under absolutely any circumstances, to avoiding eye contact on the bus, to tutting and saying ‘Honestly’ when it starts raining. 
 
Whether you’re a born-and-bred Brit or the most transient of tourists, How to be British is your one-stop remedy to Brexit blues. At least it’s better than chatting about the weather again.

How to be British

A cartoon celebration

Charlie Croker

Has your doctor ever prescribed you some bug-juice? Or sent you to the rheumaholiday department? 
 
Have you ever read an article full of anecdata or reviewphemisms? 
 
Do you think you work in an adhocracy, for a seagull manager? 
 
Every workplace has its own words and phrases, from the Smurf juice used to clean plane toilets to the Peckham Rolexes, worn by criminals on release from prison. For Terms of Employment, Charlie Croker has patrolled hospital corridors, hung out by office water-coolers and lingered in shops to listen in on the conversations that only take place at work, gathering together the jargon we all use, often without thinking. 
 
Whether you're a white wig (new barrister), a heatseeker (ambitious employee) or an entreprenerd (geeky IT pioneer) Terms of Employment is an invaluable - and entertaining - guide.

Terms of Employment

The secret lingo of the workplace

David Squires

‘A fresh look at the beautiful game’ - NME 
 
Welcome back to the inimitable work of illustrator David Squires. 
 
Most football fans can only dream of pulling on the shirt of their favourite team and running out in front of thousands of adoring fans. Pitch invaders aside, few of us get to experience that adrenalin rush. Of those who do make it as a professional footballer, even fewer realise the giddy heights of success. 
 
In the Illustrated History of Football: Hall of Fame, cartoonist David Squires returns to celebrate those who straddle the game like giants; those talented, determined souls who were juggling tennis balls in the back streets before they could talk. 
 
There’s more than one way to attain football immortality though, and Squires also turns his comic eye to the mavericks, the pioneers, the forgotten legends and the anti-heroes. From Pele to Meazza, Maradona to Socrates, you will be taken on an unforgettable journey through the good, the bad and the Hagi.

The Illustrated History of Football

Hall of Fame

A note from the editor: 
 
Dear Respected Online Customer 
 
Welcome to the page of the first ever official Rudge Park yearbook. And thank you very much in advance for purchasing the book at the incredibly reasonable price they are bound to be selling it at. 
 
When I put myself forward to be the editor of the yearbook, my Head of Sixth Form Mr Gilbert was the first to wish me words of wisdom and support. His actual words - 'Well, McKenzie, I'm looking forward to seeing how you piss this one up' - were the inspiration behind this book. Sadly, and this is not an apology, due to a print schedule that can only be described as fascistic, I wasn't able to finish the book to my exact liking. However, I was very lucky that my 'friends', Jay Cartwright, Simon Cooper and Neil Sutherland decided to supply a lot of the material 
 
So, inside this 'masterpiece' (Polly McKenzie) you'll find: Simon's Love Poetry, Jay's A-Z of Sex and (nonsensical) Business Plan, the Camber Sands Caravan Club newsletter, Neil's Biology coursework, entitled Do You Put the Balls In? and his map of Rudge Park, along with some incisive pieces of journalism, most likely written by me. And there's lots of other random stuff which has never seen the light of day. God knows how it got in there. 
 
It is my greatest, and only, achievement from my two years at Rudge Park. May it bring you years of happiness and joy, and not just on the toilet. 
 
Yours 
 
William McKenzie, Editor

The Inbetweeners Yearbook

Richard Bacon

Have you ever been stitched up to the national press by your best mate? 
 
Or unintentionally upset a band with a slip of the tongue on a live TV show? 
 
Or ruined a dinner party by transforming everything alcoholic into water? 
 
Hello. I’m Richard Bacon and this is A Series of Unrelated Events. All of the stories are true. All of them happened to me. I’ve made the mistakes so you don’t have to (you’re welcome). 
 
So now, if you should ever find yourself sobbing on top of a box of gherkins in the stockroom of a Mansfield McDonald’s… having a Twitter conversation with your mum while she’s pretending to be an illiterate dog… performing stand-up to an audience who are funnier than you are… or just letting down all of the children of Great Britain… 
 
…you’ll know exactly what to do.

A Series of Unrelated Events

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