• Jasper Carrott

The sun never sets on Knowles, an ancient and gloomy department store set in the heart of glitzy Kensington High Street. A bastion of Victorian values, they still sell piano leggings and Florence Nightingale diaries, and have but recently introduced Eddison's system for illumination.
But the site is worth millions, and it has not gone unnoticed by various interested parties that fortunes could be made by dismantling the store. So when God goes stocktaking and the owner becomes a discontinued line, the battle for control breaks out between the weirdest bunch of misfits in retailing history.