George is a poet from Torquay. A few years ago he left a glittering career as a shelf filler for a major supermarket and began to perform his work around the country, which people seem to like. George has lots of swimming certificates but since he's been defecating into a bag he tends not to swim so much. He has a strong dislike for people sitting next to him on trains whilst he writes and will only attend weddings that have a spit-roasted suckling pig and an unlimited supply of fresh baps. He has a full driving license with lots of endorsements, a Welcome Host Certificate, seven GCSEs at grade C, Crohn's Disease and, at times, very low self esteem.