BFF?: The truth about female friendship

BFF?: The truth about female friendship


Why do some friendships last a lifetime, while others fade away?
How do you break up with a friend?
How many 'best' friends should we be aiming for?

From the time we start school, we are fed a diet of 'Best Friends Forever' - the idea that you should have a female soulmate to whom you tell all your secrets and who always has your back. It's the stuff of Hollywood films, but for most of us it isn't achievable. We spend years striving for a vision of female friendship that isn't realistic instead of searching for what suits us best or appreciating what we've already got.

BFF? is an agenda-setting, personal and humorous book that pulls back the cover on the most underappreciated relationships in our lives to interrogate what modern friendship means, why we need it and what we can do to get the most from it. Featuring interviews with brilliant women, including Emma Barnett, Pandora Sykes, Nimco Ali and Jilly Cooper - as well as the intimate friendship stories of women from all walks of life - Claire Cohen argues that, unlike romance, friendship is much harder to pin down and. And it shows how often our friendships are taken for granted.

An antidote to the idea that every woman must belong to a perfect girl gang, this book is a warm and reassuring guide to help women deepen their female friendships in ways that are meaningful and enduring.

'It took me until my thirties to feel truly secure in my friendships - my female ones in particular. I truly believe that if I'd had a book like this when I was younger, it would have fallen into place sooner. That I'd have been happier, more trusting and able to deal with any bumps in the road.
That's why I want us all to start telling the truth about female friendship. Because if I - raised in a house full of women, the product of two all-girls schools and the women's editor of a national newspaper - found it hard to trust, open up and had convinced myself that female friends 'weren't for me', then you might not have it worked out either.'


  • BFF? ... inspired me to try to be braver about confronting niggling issues with friends in future.
    Helen Brown, The Telegraph

About the author

Claire Cohen

Claire Cohen is an award-winning journalist, named Women's Editor of the Year by the prestigious British Society of Magazine Editors for her agenda-setting articles and campaigning. She presents the Imposters podcast in which she interviews high-profile women, from Priyanka Chopra to Samantha Cameron, about how they turned self-doubt into success - and regularly appears as a commentator on the BBC and national radio, as well as being an experienced public speaker. In 2021, she was listed as one of Britain's Top 50 trailblazers for gender equality.

Claire has written for publications including the Telegraph, Grazia, and the Evening Standard - and is a proud founder member of the Ginsburg Women's Health Board. She lives in South London with her husband and their tiny cat. BFF? is her first book.
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