Become a Genius on the Loo

Brain Dump

If there is one other paper-based product you will want to keep close at hand in the loo it is Brain Dump – the ultimate toilet trivia book.

Geoff Tibballs has written over 150 books, including the Ripley's Believe It or Not! annuals, The Mammoth Book of Weird News, Unbelievable Facts and The Guinness Book of Oddities. Among his claims to fame are having a rock band named after him by four people he has never met but who thought his name sounded memorable and once following former Liberal Party leader Jo Grimond up the escalator at London St. Pancras station.

Also works well as emergency loo roll. 
 
While you're not going anywhere, why not expand your mind with Brain Dump? 
 
Learn thousands of fascinating facts, stats and trivia. Guaranteed to boost your brain, this bumper compendium covers every subject from football to phobias, mountains to the Muppets and spiders to Shakespeare. 
 
It features hundreds of mind-blowing entries from Types of Cloud to the Longest Song Titles. And it's not just for the bathroom but the bedroom too! Struggling to sleep? Turn to the Fascinating Facts About Sheep and other gems to tire and train your brain. Zzzzzzzzzz….. 
 
Printed on soft absorbent paper for emergencies.

The Cockney Rhyming Slang Dictionary

The classic pocket guide to the language of London. The most comprehensive A-Z of over 1,700 cockney rhymes and only £3.99!

Geoff Tibballs has written over 150 books, including the Ripley's Believe It or Not! annuals, The Mammoth Book of Weird News, Unbelievable Facts and The Guinness Book of Oddities. Among his claims to fame are having a rock band named after him by four people he has never met but who thought his name sounded memorable and once following former Liberal Party leader Jo Grimond up the escalator at London St. Pancras station.

The classic pocket guide to the language of London. 
 
This wonderful little guide to cockney rhyming slang contains over 1,700 old and new rhymes translated from Cockney to English and English to Cockney, including: 
 
Custard and jelly - telly 
 
Hot cross bun - nun 
 
Lemon tart - smart 
 
Rock ’n’ roll - dole 
 
Sticky toffee - coffee 
 
...and many more. Master the art of the Cockney rhyme and discover the Cockney origins of common British phrases.

A Book of Dad's Wit

Just Like Dad Says

A humorous and entertaining look at fatherhood in the words of famous dads

Former sports journalist Geoff Tibballs has written nearly 100 books, many of them humorous, with titles including The Bowler's Holding, The Batsman's Willey, The Ultimate Cockney Geezer's Guide to Rhyming Slang and The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes.

'I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood' - Homer Simpson 
 
Fathers come in many guises - wise or silly, strict or kind. They can make you laugh and they can make you cringe. They can drive you home and they can drive you mad ... 
 
In Just Like Dad Says, wise and witty words from the likes of Billy Connolly, Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Milligan and Homer Simpson cover everything from the joy of being a new dad to waving kids off as they - finally - leave home. 
 
Old and new, laugh-out-loud funny or wickedly dry, Just Like Dad Says is the best ever collection of quotes by and about Dad. 
 
'My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo' - Bob Monkhouse 
 
'Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective' - P.J. O'Rourke

The Ultimate Cockney Geezer's Guide to Rhyming Slang

A comprehensive A-Z of Cockney rhyming slang, full of entertaining asides and background info

Former sports journalist Geoff Tibballs has written nearly 100 books, including the The Batsman's Holding, the Bowler's Willey for Ebury.

Would you Adam and Eve it? Over a hundred years after it was first heard on the streets of Ye Olde London Towne, Cockney rhyming slang is still going strong, and this book contains the most comprehensive and entertaining guide yet. 
 
Presented in an easy-to-read A to Z format, it explains the meaning of hundreds of terms, from old favourites such as apples and pears (stairs) and plates of meat (feet) to the more obscure band of hope (soap) and cuts and scratches (matches) through to modern classics such as Anthea Turner (earner) and Ashley Cole (own goal), as well as providing fascinating background info and curious Cockney facts throughout. Also included are a series of language tests so that readers can brush up on their newfound knowledge on their way to becoming a true Cockney Geezer. 
 
All in all, The Ultimate Cockney Geezer's Guide to Rhyming Slang is well worth your bread and honey to have a butcher's.

The Greatest Collection of Humorous Sporting Quotations Ever!

The Bowler's Holding, the Batsman's Willey

The biggest and best collection of funny sports quotations the world has ever seen

Ideal birthday present fodder and perfect on-the-bog literature... Top work all round.

The ultimate compendium of humorous quotations... Marvellous.

Former sports journalist Geoff Tibballs has written nearly 100 books, many of them on sport and humour, with titles including The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes, Great Sporting Eccentrics and Great Sporting Mishaps. An accomplished armchair sportsman, he believes his life-long devotion to Millwall Football Club has enabled him to appreciate the ridiculous.

'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it - you can see it all over their faces' - Ron Atkinson 
 
'Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the city centre' - Oscar Wilde 
 
Whether over the moon or sick as a parrot, sportsmen and women can invariably be relied upon to come out with a humorous quote...even if it's not always intentional. The Bowler's Holding, The Batsman's Willey provides the definitive collection of sporting wit, from participants and observers alike. 
 
The book covers the full gamut of the sports spectrum and provides over 4,000 side-splittingly funny quotes - some examples of incisive sporting wit, others inadvertent howlers never to be forgotten; ranging from the cutting remarks of Brian Clough and Muhammad Ali to the studied observations of John Arlott and the hilarious gaffes of Murray Walker. 
 
The Bowler's Holding, The Batsman's Willey is an absolute must for any sports fan.

Geoff Tibballs

How d’you make a proper cup of tea? (and 720 other essential questions)

Will you be flummoxed by this Great British distraction? 
 
Do you know queuing etiquette? Twenty-one different ways to describe rain? Then this quiz book might be just your cup of tea. 
 
Politely challenge yourself, your family and your friends with questions on British culture, language, etiquette, of course, the weather, as well as lots of other essential, quintessential British subjects. 
 
Each quiz comprises 21 questions and answers are based on the real results from national surveys and polls. 
 
Hours of brain-bamboozling fun for all the family!

Geoff Tibballs

Books by Geoff Tibballs

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