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Books to read if you’re considering psychotherapy

Vintage Minis

Therapy

Vintage Minis bring you the world’s greatest writers on the experiences that make us human – from birth to death and everything in between

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‘I want to change, but not if it means changing,' a patient once said to me in complete innocence 
 
 What do we do when we find ourselves trapped by our own thoughts or behaviour? Drawing on his twenty-five years’ experience as a psychoanalyst, Stephen Grosz ushers the reader through the door of his consulting room and into the minds of his patients. In these beautifully told cases we find compulsive liars, deceived spouses, violent children and delusional adults but we also find ourselves and in doing so, understand a little more about what it is to be human. 
 
 Selected from The Examined Life. 
 
 VINTAGE MINIS: GREAT MINDS. BIG IDEAS. LITTLE BOOKS. 
 
 A series of short books by the world’s greatest writers on the experiences that make us human 
 
Discover the Vintage Minis ‘Head Space’ series: 
 
 Recovery by Helen Macdonald 
 Family by Mark Haddon

How We Lose and Find Ourselves

The Examined Life

Longlisted for the Guardian first book award, a Sunday Times bestseller and Radio 4 Book of the Week. 'Marvellous' (The Times), 'Excellent' (Guardian), 'Completely magical' (Mail on Sunday)

**THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER** 
 
This book is about learning to live. 
 
Echoing Socrates' statement that the unexamined life not worth living, psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz draws on his twenty-five years of work and more than 50,000 hours of conversations to form a collection of beautifully rendered tales that illuminate the human experience. 
 
These are stories about everyday lives: from a woman who finds herself daydreaming as she returns home from a business trip to a young man loses his wallet, to the more extreme examples: the patient who points an unloaded gun at a police officer and the compulsive liar who convinces his wife he's dying of cancer. The resulting journey will spark new ideas about who we are and why we do what we do. 
 
'A captivating journey... These are universal themes, insights into an emotional world we inhabit, often with equal difficulty. A wonderful book' Sunday Times 
 
‘Stephen Grosz , an analyst with more than 40 years in practice, is one of the best at writing about [psychoanalysis]’ The Times

I was enthralled… profound and moving, packed large ideas into a slim volume

With deceptive simplicity and gentle wisdom, Grosz teases out a lesson or chases down a fugitive insight. I have distrusted psychoanalysis for years, but I would leap onto Grosz’s couch

This moving book of patient portraits by the psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz will make the reader think of Freud’s keenly observed and literary-minded case studies. Writing with sympathy and insight, Mr Grosz distils 25 years of work into a series of slim, piercing chapters that read like a combination of Chekhov and Oliver Sacks

The success of The Examined Life by the psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz has, I think, relatively little to do with his clinical know-how; it rests, as Freud's did, on his story-telling abilities

Grosz is a superb storyteller and tells lots of his patients' stories with sensitivity, but also with great acuity. You might keep thinking you recognise things about people you know

A wonderful example of a book that provides a safe space that can be used as a base to explore the less safe

Riveting... Grosz is adept at uncovering the little lies we tell ourselves and he's very perceptive about the potentially positive effects of bad experiences

Because of [Grosz's] skill at getting to the heart of the matter, we forget the distance separating us and become quickly involved in the lives of those he discusses

Absolutely fascinating. You’ll be amateur psychoanalysing yourself and everyone you know

It made me stop and think, and it has stayed with me. Grosz is a superb storyteller and tells lots of his patients' stories with sensitivity, but also with great acuity. You might keep thinking you recognise things about people you know

One of the many attributes of a good psychoanalyst is restraint, and Stephen Grosz's first book puts it to graceful, literary use

Grosz strikes the right balance of professional detachment and compassion, coupled with humility and self-awareness... The most helpful book I have read in recent months

A captivating journey... These are universal themes, insights into an emotional world we inhabit, often with equal difficulty. A wonderful book

The Examined Life is a series of case studies from psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz's 25-year career. They fizz and shimmer with the tension of the finest short story. But they also have a profound vision of the world, which, however distorted it is, makes me examine my own

So significant that it should be read by absolutely everyone... A masterpiece of observation and empathy

The Examined Life is a fascinating and original read. It is inspirational and shows how we can learn more about ourselves by exploring our subconscious thoughts and beliefs

[Illuminates] the dark recesses of human behaviour with clarity and humanity

Far and away the best non-fiction book this year

Essays true to psychoanalytic principles, but free from jargon; they have the quality of the best short stories.

Grosz is able to expand out creating universal themes and experiences that makes every chapter personally relevant to the reader. It is a fascinating process that challenges you to reflect honestly about your own experiences… Indeed this is both the perfect book for someone with no psychology background or someone who works in the area… I found this book extremely interesting… I would highly recommend to anyone wanting an interesting and fascinating social science read and it is a book you’ll remember long after reading.

Grosz’s vignettes are so brilliantly put together that they read like pieces of bare, illuminating fiction. . . utterly captivating

Marvellous… After reading [Grosz’s] absorbing accounts of his patients’ journeys you might feel that The Examined Life ought to be given out free at birth

Crystal-clear and completely magical…The Examined Life is a book full of troubles, but also of wonders

Engaging, frank, and with many penetrating insights. His short, succinct chapters have both the tension and the satisfaction of miniature detective or mystery stories

By turns edifying and moving…Grosz offers astute insights into the perplexities of everyday life

[Grosz's accounts] are shaped like short stories, but true and moving in ways that fiction cannot be […] distilled through long examination into finely crafted literary form…

Grosz’s message is always affirming…it is possible to change

Excellent… Every one of these case histories bears repeating. All offer worthwhile insights

'Grosz] writes lucidly and with sensitivity… sprinkled with wise reflections… A gem… highly recommended

[A] fine and moving book… It is a true literary work and a very modern one…

That rarest of pleasures: a book I loved, and could recommend to almost anyone

Enlightening…full of wisdom and insight

Beautifully unadorned writing... He paints a vivid portrait of his patients

A rare insight into the life of the psychoanalyst… succeeds in making complex behavioural issues accessible for any reader

The suspense in each chapter is so expert that I had to double check that this wasn’t a work of fiction. Best of all, Grosz manages to give a jargon-free account of how psychoanalysis works

By turns edifying and moving… Grosz offers astute insights into the perplexities of everyday life

Grosz's vignettes are so brilliantly put together that they read like pieces of bare illuminating fiction... It is this combination of tenacious detective work, remarkable compassion and sheer, unending curiosity for the oddities of the human heart that makes these stories utterly captivating.

Brilliant…. Grosz is a superb writer, yes, but it is the stories his patients tell him that really make you marvel. An elegant, jargon-free expedition into the secret business of our minds written with such wisdom and kindness… After reading [Grosz’s] absorbing accounts of his patients’ journeys you might feel that The Examined Life out to be given out free at birth

A fine and moving book... The tact, patience and understatement, which are particular components of Grosz’s wisdom, remind the reader that this writer’s insights and empathy result from thousand of hours with patients. This book is not polemical literature… nor is it an academic work or a popular self-help book. It is a true literary work and a very modern one.

Crystal-clear and completely magical...The Examined Life is a book full of troubles, but also of wonders: it shows people trapped by their own mysterious impulses, searching for an escape hatch, and often finding it

Five star review - an intelligent, human and deeply moving book… Grosz is listening for the unspoken and the gaps in between. His book celebrates change and the triumphs and tragedies of humanity

Excellent… this book arrives like a box of chocolates. Thirty-one elegantly presented chapters which, when you bite into them, each reveals something sweet, rich or crunchy. Every one of these case histories bears repeating. All offer worthwhile insights.

Engaging, frank, and with many penetrating insights. His short, succinct chapters have both the tension and the satisfaction of miniature detective or mystery stories…  A stimulating book.

Grosz writes lucidly and with sensitivity, treating his patients with respect. The cases are sprinkled with wise reflections... highly recommended

There are many sage lessons here, backed up by research where  necessary…fascinating… Grosz writes lucidly and with sensitivity,  treating his patients with respect. The cases are sprinkled with wise reflections…highly recommended

Intensely readable… As a reminder of the strangeness of human existence, the myriad ways we find of making ourselves unhappy and the perplexing resourcefulness of the unconscious mind, Grosz’s book is a worthwhile addition to the literature of the examined life.

Written with real elegance and a strong sense of structure… several chapters read like powerful short stories

Elegantly structured and written… Grosz’s book is intensely readable

Shaped like short stories, but true and moving in ways that fiction cannot be... Gradually accumulating through his book, Grosz provides, not a definition, but an enactment of the purpose of psychoanalysis, which is both modest and profound.

Grosz is an able writer, engaging, frank and with many penetrating insights. His short, succinct chapters have both the tension and the satisfaction of miniature detective or mystery stories… a stimulating book

[These] interpretations make fascinating reading, leave you marvelling at the ingenuity of the human subconscious. Grosz’s message is always affirming: if a person can work out what it is that’s driving them, it is possible to change

Grosz’s narrative is by turns edifying and moving...tempered by his engaging prose and moments of humour

I couldn't put this down—I read about other people, but learned about myself at the same time.  Real stories can be so much more fascinating than fictional ones, especially with Stephen Grosz.  No preaching, no clichés—just wisdom.

Stephen Grosz is a practicing psychoanalyst - he has worked with patients for more than twenty-five years. Born in America, he was educated at the University of California, Berkeley, and at Oxford University, and now lives in London. The Examined Life has been translated into more than twenty languages and was longlisted for the Guardian First Book Award. 
 
www.stephengrosz.com

Stephen Grosz

‘An exceptional writer and psychoanalyst … the poet laureate of human emotion’

'A profound meditation on love and healing. Powerful and important. Essential reading'

‘Love really is a labour: that's something they don't tell you in the fairy stories or the reality shows. But Stephen Grosz knows a lot about the pain and joy of human relationships and in this book he generously shares his wisdom with the rest of us’

'Full of moments of revelation that stay with you forever ... It would not be humanly possible for me to recommend his work more highly'

‘Reading Stephen Grosz is a deep sort of pleasure, and this book's movingly told true stories left me feeling wiser and more open to life’

Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks

‘This is a special book, full of little epiphanies. Grosz combines illuminating stories from therapy with such beautiful writing that you forget these people are his patients and not fictional characters. He reminds us how complex love is, how much it requires of us, and how many times we can misunderstand each other – and ourselves – in the process. It's a love story about the relationship between lovers, between a therapist and patient, and between us all, if we are brave enough to attempt it’

Natasha Lunn, author of Conversations on Love

‘Grosz’s transfixing stories will increase your openness to and aptitude for the greatest of all emotions: you will be better at love after you read this book’

Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon

'Stephen Grosz is a beautiful writer, a clear, compelling thinker, an observant, wise, and deeply empathetic human being'

'Full of thought prompts and ideas that resonate long after you finish the book ... It’s a strange, thoughtful, deeply compelling book'

'Love’s Labour is a hopeful book and all the more convincingly so because it promises relatively small shifts rather than miraculous recoveries'

'A compressed, brilliant distillation of 40 years of clinical experience and deep thought, written to last. Grosz conveys what he knows, in all its richness, in as pithy and digestible form as possible'

'Chilling, moving, unforgettably… what a privilege it is for the reader to catch a glimpse of this process

'Clearly written and deeply moving. Above all, it brings the experience of psychoanalysis to life ... A humane and compelling book full of astonishing insights into his patients' lives'

'Another work from the master of writing about therapy. Whisper this sacrilege: he’s a significantly better writer than Irving Yalom. A book to savour, re-read and return to for new insights'

‘A work of genius… It would not be humanly possible for me to recommend his work more highly’ India Knight 
‘Left me feeling wiser and more open to life’ Oliver Burkeman 
 
Luminous and necessary stories from the psychoanalyst's consulting room; on desire, heartbreak and learning how to love. 
 
When it comes to love why do we find things so difficult? Drawing on over forty years of candid and surprising conversations with his patients, Stephen Grosz asks, what gets in the way of our falling in love? And what must we do to stay there? 
 
In the intimate space of the consulting room, we meet the woman who can’t post her wedding invitations but then, decades later, can’t decide whether to get divorced; the friendship group that explodes when an adulterous affair begins; and the man whose partner’s death is almost too much to bear. 
 
As an analyst, Grosz’s unerring ability is to locate what ails the heartsick. As a writer, he elegantly shows how we can deploy the agonies of love as tools for understanding. 
 
The labour of love is the work of a lifetime but in finally learning to see ourselves and our world clearly, we find we are truly ready to love one another. 
 
‘The poet laureate of human emotion’ Elizabeth Day 
‘This man could save your marriage’ Sunday Times 
'Stephen Grosz ... is one of the best at writing about psychoanalysis' The Times 
'Powerful and compelling' Guardian 
'This is a beautiful book' Nigella Lawson

Stephen Grosz

Praise for Love’s Labour

‘An exceptional writer and psychoanalyst … the poet laureate of human emotion’

'A profound meditation on love and healing. Powerful and important. Essential reading'

‘Love really is a labour: that's something they don't tell you in the fairy stories or the reality shows. But Stephen Grosz knows a lot about the pain and joy of human relationships and in this book ...

‘An exceptional writer and psychoanalyst … the poet laureate of human emotion’

'A profound meditation on love and healing. Powerful and important. Essential reading'

‘Love really is a labour: that's something they don't tell you in the fairy stories or the reality shows. But Stephen Grosz knows a lot about the pain and joy of human relationships and in this book ...

‘An exceptional writer and psychoanalyst … the poet laureate of human emotion’

'A profound meditation on love and healing. Powerful and important. Essential reading'

‘Love really is a labour: that's something they don't tell you in the fairy stories or the reality shows. But Stephen Grosz knows a lot about the pain and joy of human relationships and in this book ...

Books by Stephen Grosz

Articles featuring Stephen Grosz

Books to read if you’re considering psychotherapy

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