Children's Edition

The (Not Quite) Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book

Comedian and TV star, Tim Vine, will have you laughing for hours with this new, abridged version of his hilarious joke book . . .

Creasing ourselves every 10 seconds as we read another one-liner from The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Jokebook...pure comedy gold. Oh, we love Tim Vine

The amazing undisputed king of the one-liner

Tim Vine is seriously funny... his unswerving devotion to making us laugh is something pure and wonderful

Vine's gags are timeless...they are puns on everyday situations, as well as being inoffensive and uncontroversial

Skillfully delivered, hugely popular, continuously funny and utterly unique

The spiritual lovechild of Tommy Cooper and Steve Martin, if such a thing were possible

Tim Vine burst onto the stand-up circuit by winning the Perrier Best Newcomer Award at the Edinburgh Festival in 1995 and has since gone on to find universal acclaim as the undisputed master of the one-liner. 
 
In 2004 Tim became the Guinness World Record Holder for telling the most jokes in an hour, smashing the previous record with a total of 499. 
 
He lives in London and is currently co-starring in the hit sitcom Not Going Out.

Comedian and TV star, Tim Vine, will have you laughing for hours with this new, abridged version of his hilarious joke book . . . 
 
Velcro. 
What a rip off. 
 
Why do you never see an elephant on a bus? 
Because he's got a massive bum. 
 
So I went to the doctors. I said, 'I got hurt in a pillow fight.' He said, 'You've got concushion.' 
 
Believe it or not there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people 
 
I tried to surf the Internet and I fell off my chair 
 
 
Read it to find these funny puns, plus many more original jokes and illustrations. You won't be able to put it down!

The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book

The long-awaited, hilarious joke book from the Punslinger, Tim Vine, the undisputed king of the one-liner.

The hilarious joke book from the Punslinger, Tim Vine, the undisputed king of the one-liner. 
 
The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: 
 
The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. 
 
I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. 
 
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. 
 
Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. 
 
So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' 
 
Velcro. What a rip-off. 
 
Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. 
 
I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Tim Vine

Full Cast

Series 1 and 2 plus specials

Tim Vine and the Great British public are the stars of this side-splitting radio chat show, featuring his trademark wonderful wordplay, quickfire gags and silly songs 
 
‘Full of laugh-out-loud moments … Vine's razor sharp wit and warmth shine through’ Radio Times 
 
Internationally acclaimed master of the one-liner Tim Vine travels the length and breadth of Britain on a quest to hear the funny, strange and surprising life stories of his live audience – while simultaneously taking the opportunity to showcase his world-famous jokes and preposterous songs. 
 
In these two sparkling series, he is confronted with a death-defying parachutist, a guest with an interesting technique for warding off foxes, an office worker who was inadvertently responsible for half of Welwyn Garden City being closed to the public and a man undergoing some unusual physiotherapy. Plus, there’s an encounter with an anaconda, a quiz about trifle, an impromptu laughter yoga workshop, at least two jokes about chickens and musical entertainment ranging from an imaginary country song to a maritime sing-a-long. 
 
Also included are two ‘SummerTim Specials’, recorded at Cromer Pier and the Edinburgh Festival, and three festive special episodes complete with a sackful of Yuletide jokes, alternative traditional songs and fiendishly silly seasonal games – as well as a former air hostess from the land of Santa Claus and a budding Widow Twanky... 
 
Cast and credits 
Presented by Tim Vine 
Produced by Richard Morris 
A BBC Studios production 
 
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 30 June-21 July 2016 (Series 1), 26 December 2016 (The Tim Vine Christmas Chat Show), 12 September-17 October 2017 (Series 2), 21 August 2018 (SummerTim Extra Special), 25 December 2018 (Christmas Special 2018), 29 August 2019 (SummerTim Extra Special Edinburgh Festival), 26 December 2019 (Christmas Special 2019)

Tim Vine

Books by Tim Vine

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