The Greatest Collection of Humorous Football Quotations Ever!

Tell Him He's Pele

When not skulking around football grounds and press conferences in search of funny quotes, Phil Shaw is a freelance sports writer with 30 years' experience on national newspapers. He reports on football for the Daily Telegraph, Guardian, Independent and Scotland on Sunday, having previously written for the Observer and Time Out. He has also compiled The Book of Football Quotations since its first edition in 1984, originally in collaboration with Peter Ball. Phil lives in Staffordshire with his wife Julie, tons of old vinyl and an unhealthy amount of Leeds United memorabilia.

My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about seven - David Beckham 
 
For Tony to admit he is an alcoholic took an awful lot of bottle - Ian Wright on Tony Adams 
 
I've been playing in a golf day for a boy seriously injured in a car accident. I had to drive like a lunatic to get here - Ray Houghton, TalkSport football pundit, on why he was late on-air 
 
Reporter: What would you be if you weren't a footballer? 
Peter Crouch: A virgin. 
 
I've never been so certain about anything in my life. I want to be a coach. Or a manager. I'm not sure which - Phil Neville 
 
Footballers may not be known for their profound insights, but it seems no one in the game is above a mixed metaphor or confused cliché. From Harry Redknapp to Martin O'Neill, Patrice Evra to Jason McAteer, see the funny side of the beautiful game with this hilarious collection of verbal own goals. Packed full of hilarious quotes, quips and misfires from the biggest names in football, Tell Him He's Pele is a must for everyone with a sense of humour.

Phil Shaw

Truly a must... it can make you laugh or cry

It should be on the shelf of everyone who loves football

Shaw has drawn together a fine catalogue of comical observations for a book to which enthusiasts will return regularly for comical stimulation

The greatest football quotations collection ever, now in its ninth edition. 
This compilation includes quotes from everyone – Shakespeare to Suarez, Camus to Cantona, Busby to Beckham – who has made an apt, pithy or comical comment about football. And not just footballers and managers either – fans, pundits, groundsmen, directors and wives all get to have their say too. Every subject is covered, from tactical debates to changing lifestyles, to produce a sometimes hilarious and always thought-provoking commentary on the game. 
 
‘My players are always the best players in the world, even if they aren’t’ - José Mourinho 
 
‘He was a quiet man, Eric Cantona, but he was a man of few words’ - David Beckham 
 
‘Sometimes when you aim for the stars you hit the moon’ - Ian Holloway

Phil Shaw

Praise for The Book of Football Quotations

Truly a must... it can make you laugh or cry

It should be on the shelf of everyone who loves football

Shaw has drawn together a fine catalogue of comical observations for a book to which enthusiasts will return regularly for comical stimulation

Truly a must... it can make you laugh or cry

It should be on the shelf of everyone who loves football

Shaw has drawn together a fine catalogue of comical observations for a book to which enthusiasts will return regularly for comical stimulation

Truly a must... it can make you laugh or cry

It should be on the shelf of everyone who loves football

Shaw has drawn together a fine catalogue of comical observations for a book to which enthusiasts will return regularly for comical stimulation

Books by Phil Shaw

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