Why Prioritising Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters

Being There

A powerful look at the importance of a mother’s presence in the first years of life. 
 
‘A beautiful reminder to slow down and prioritise connection. A must-read for every mother seeking emotional security over all.’ KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN 
 
In this important and conversation-starting book, psychoanalyst and parent coach Erica Komisar offers a provocative and compelling premise: a mother's emotional and physical presence in her child's life during the first three years is crucial to their development. 
 
Being There reveals why children of present mothers have a greater chance of growing up emotionally healthy, happy, secure and resilient. When that essential presence goes missing, the child is at higher risk for social, emotional, and developmental issues, both immediate and long term. In other words, when it comes to connecting with your baby or toddler, more is more. 
 
Compassionate and balanced, and focusing on the emotional health and well-being of children as well as that of the mothers who care for them, this book shows mothers and fathers how to give their children the best chance for developing into healthy and loving adults. 
 
Based on more than two decades of clinical work, established psychoanalytic theory, and the most current and cutting-edge neurobiological research on caregiving, attachment, and brain development, Being There explains: 
 
- How to establish emotional connection with a newborn or young child -- regardless of whether you're able to pause your career to stay home, 
- How to select and train quality childcare if necessary -- and how to ease transitions and minimize stress for your baby or toddler, 
- What's true and false about widely held beliefs like 'Babies are resilient' and how to combat feelings of post-partum depression or boredom, 
- How women and their partners can take control of their choices around work to provide for their family's emotional needs in the first three years. 
 
Being a mother isn’t easy. But with support, emotional awareness, and coping skills, it can be the most magical -- and essential -- work we’ll ever do.

Erica Komisar, LCSW, is the author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, which won a Family Choice Award for best parenting book, and Chicken Little the Sky Isn’t Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety. A psychoanalyst, clinical social worker, and parent guidance expert, she earned her MSW from Columbia University and started her private practice in New York City in 1990. A contributing editor for the Institute for Family Studies, she belongs to the International 
Psychoanalytic Association and lives in Manhattan with her husband and three young-adult children.

A powerful look at the importance of a mother’s presence in the first years of life. 
 
‘Being There really resonated with me during this season of motherhood. Erica's wisdom validated what I’ve always felt instinctively – that presence, especially in the early years, is everything. It’s a beautiful reminder to slow down and prioritise connection. A must-read for every mother seeking emotional security over all!’ KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN BARKER 
 
In this important and conversation-starting book, veteran psychoanalyst Erica Komisar offers a provocative and compelling premise: a mother's emotional and physical presence in her child's life -- especially during the first three years -- means that her child has a greater chance of growing up emotionally healthy, happy, secure, and resilient. When that essential presence goes missing, the child is at higher risk for social, emotional, and developmental issues, both immediate and long term. 
 
In other words, when it comes to connecting with your baby or toddler, more is more. 
 
Compassionate and balanced, and focusing on the emotional health and well-being of children as well as that of the mothers who care for them, this book shows mothers and fathers how to give their children the best chance for developing into healthy and loving adults. Based on more than two decades of clinical work, established psychoanalytic theory, and the most current and cutting-edge neurobiological research on caregiving, attachment, and brain development, Being There explains: 
 
- How to establish emotional connection with a newborn or young child -- regardless of whether you're able to pause your career to stay home, 
- How to select and train quality childcare if necessary -- and how to ease transitions and minimize stress for your baby or toddler, 
- What's true and false about widely held beliefs like 'Babies are resilient' and how to combat feelings of post-partum depression or boredom, 
- How women and their partners can take control of their choices around work to provide for their family's emotional needs in the first three years.

Erica Komisar

How to Protect Your Child’s Mental and Emotional Health through a Breakup or Separation

A framework for child-centred divorce from acclaimed psychoanalyst and award-winning author, Erica Komisar. 
 
A good divorce is better than a bad marriage, but for children that doesn’t make the split any easier. Legal decisions have emotional consequences. Well-meaning parents can become hostile, insecure, or jealous, and well-adjusted kids can grieve the loss of the family unit, rage at the pain that they feel, or prey on parental guilt. 
 
In The Child-Healthy Divorce, acclaimed psychoanalyst and award-winning author Erica Komisar marshals more than 30 years of clinical experience and extensive research to show readers how to make an effective plan that centres children’s needs, including how to talk about what’s happening, how to maintain normal routines, and what to know about kids of different ages. For example, interrupting a child’s attachment with the primary caregiver before age three can lead to behavioural problems later in life. Teens going to college also need a stable home as a foundation to establish their own independence. 
 
With numerous case studies and practical strategies, the book shows parents how to create age-appropriate custody arrangements, reassure kids without invalidating their feelings, and build a positive support system. It also provides helpful guidance about new partners, blended families, and other special situations. Most importantly, it offers hope. 
 
No one with kids wants a divorce, but if that step becomes necessary, this book can help readers establish the emotional security that their children need for success in life.

Erica Komisar

Books by Erica Komisar

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