The Ideal Guide to Sounding, Acting and Shrugging Like the French

A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi

When Charles Timoney and his French wife were both made redundant in the same week they decided to try living in France for a year or so. It proved much harder than expected. Charles' O level in French was little help when everyone around him consistently used a wide variety of impenetrable slang and persisted in the annoying habit of talking about things he had never heard of. But they stayed. Two decades and two thoroughly French children later, he decided to write the two books that would have saved him from so many blunders and misunderstandings along the way: Pardon My French and A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi.

Vocabulary alone isn't enough. To survive in the most sophisticated - and the most scathing - nation on Earth you will need to understand the many peculiarities of the (very peculiar) French culture. And for that you need A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi. 
 
If you want to fit in with the French you'll have to know how to deal with sardonic waiters; why French children hate Charlemagne; the etiquette of kissing, joke-telling and drinking songs, what to do with a bidet, the correct recipe for a salade nicoise and, of course, how to convey absolute, shattering indifference with a single syllable (Bof!). 
 
Charles Timoney, the author of Pardon My French, provides a practical, pleasurable guide to the charms of the Gallic people - from their daily routines to their peerless gesticulations, from their come-ons to their put-downs. Read on and put the oh la la back into your French vacances. Your inner gaul will thank you for it.

Unleash Your Inner Gaul

Pardon My French

The hilarious survival guide to French -- from how exactly to say oh la la to ordering a steak without getting sneered at

When Charles Timoney and his French wife were both made redundant in the same week they decided to try living in France for a year or so. It proved much harder than expected. Charles' O level in French was little help when everyone around him consistently used a wide variety of impenetrable slang and persisted in the annoying habit of talking about things he had never heard of. But they stayed. Two decades and two thoroughly French children later, he decided to write the guide to French that would have saved him from so many blunders and misunderstandings along the way. This is it.

THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT FRANCE: You burnt Joan of Arc! ? Smuggling live chickens into rugby matches is patriotic ? How many times to kiss on the cheek ? Where not to cross the road ? French guns don't go 'bang' ? What do you call a party? ? bon appetit is vulgar ? A six-pack is a bar of chocolate ? The dangers of being called Peter or Penny ? Your smallest finger is your 'ear' finger ? The importance of Wednesdays ? How to tip ? and when to celebrate Christmas? 
 
Forget the French you learnt at school. Based on twenty years of hard-won knowledge, Pardon My French takes you through all the words you need to survive, shows how and why they work, and steers you past all the pitfalls and potential embarrassments of speaking French in France. 
 
From sugar-cube etiquette to why the Marseillaise is all about slaughtering Austrians and Prussians as bloodily as possible, Charles Timoney lays bare the Gallic mindset alongside their bizarre language. Covering all areas of everyday life from eating and drinking to travel, work and, crucially, swearing and sounding like a teenager, this is not just the most entertaining, but also the most useful book on France and the French you'll ever read.

Charles Timoney

A witty, clever read that's peppered with endearing and thoughtful observations on the French disposition. His gently self-deprecating anecdotes amuse and charm, as mishaps and blessings befall him. Timoney's conversational tone welcomes you along as he amiably shares his experiences as if you were old pals swapping anecdotes over a bottle of wine. Five stars

There are new year's resolutions and then there are those rash decisions that come after the last bottle has been drunk on the last night of the year. The journey down the Seine that Charles Timoney describes in his third book about France stemmed from the latter ... a charming story of life along the river ... that lingers in the mind

A wonderful view of France as seen from the water, and through the eyes of a genuinely funny writer - I laughed out loud

Charles Timoney

Praise for An Englishman Aboard

A witty, clever read that's peppered with endearing and thoughtful observations on the French disposition. His gently self-deprecating anecdotes amuse and charm, as mishaps and blessings befall him. Timoney's conver ...

There are new year's resolutions and then there are those rash decisions that come after the last bottle has been drunk on the last night of the year. The journey down the Seine that Charles Timoney describes in his ...

A wonderful view of France as seen from the water, and through the eyes of a genuinely funny writer - I laughed out loud

A witty, clever read that's peppered with endearing and thoughtful observations on the French disposition. His gently self-deprecating anecdotes amuse and charm, as mishaps and blessings befall him. Timoney's conver ...

There are new year's resolutions and then there are those rash decisions that come after the last bottle has been drunk on the last night of the year. The journey down the Seine that Charles Timoney describes in his ...

A wonderful view of France as seen from the water, and through the eyes of a genuinely funny writer - I laughed out loud

A witty, clever read that's peppered with endearing and thoughtful observations on the French disposition. His gently self-deprecating anecdotes amuse and charm, as mishaps and blessings befall him. Timoney's conver ...

There are new year's resolutions and then there are those rash decisions that come after the last bottle has been drunk on the last night of the year. The journey down the Seine that Charles Timoney describes in his ...

A wonderful view of France as seen from the water, and through the eyes of a genuinely funny writer - I laughed out loud

Books by Charles Timoney

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