A Personal History of Adoption

So Many Ways to Belong

Twenty years ago, Carol Atherton and her husband Matthew stood together on the doorstep of a suburban house waiting to meet the small, red-headed toddler who would soon be woven into the fabric of their lives. 
 
But that moment was only one of many thresholds they crossed on their journey to becoming adoptive parents. In the years leading up to it, they had found their path strewn with countless questions and clouded by the myths that have shaped our collective ideas about adoption. 
 
What was the truth behind the sensationalist headlines and the dramatic depictions in books, film and television? What level of scrutiny would Carol and Matthew face? Who would their child be, and how had they come to be adopted? And what would they need from the family who were going to give them a home? 
 
In the months following the first nervous call to the adoption agency, all Carol and Matthew’s assumptions would be upended. They would meet social workers, judges, support networks and foster carers, learning not only about the process, but also about the wider social and political realities of adoption – its complicated history, past injustices and ever-evolving future. 
 
So Many Ways to Belong is the handhold Carol wishes she’d had two decades ago, when doubt and uncertainty shadowed every step. Honest and illuminating, it tells both a deeply personal story and the larger story of adoption itself—challenging stereotypes, exploding myths, and examining what it truly means to build a family. 
 
Essential reading for those whose life has been—or may yet be—touched by adoption, and for anyone wanting to better understand its story, this is an empathetic exploration of belonging, identity and our very human need for rootedness: to know who we are, where we’ve come from, and how we fit in.

Carol Atherton is the author of Reading Lessons: An English Teacher’s Love Letter to the Books that Shape Us, which was shortlisted for the Indie Book Awards 2025. She has taught English since 1996 and is currently Head of English at a secondary school in Lincolnshire. Originally from Merseyside, she read English at Oxford. She lives in Lincolnshire with her husband and son. So Many Ways to Belong is her second book.

Twenty years ago, Carol Atherton and her husband Matthew stood together on the doorstep of a suburban house waiting to meet the small, red-headed toddler who would soon be woven into the fabric of their lives. 
 
But that moment was only one of many thresholds they crossed on their journey to becoming adoptive parents. In the years leading up to it, they had found their path strewn with countless questions and clouded by the myths that have shaped our collective ideas about adoption. 
 
What was the truth behind the sensationalist headlines and the dramatic depictions in books, film and television? What level of scrutiny would Carol and Matthew face? Who would their child be, and how had they come to be adopted? And what would they need from the family who were going to give them a home? 
 
In the months following the first nervous call to the adoption agency, all Carol and Matthew’s assumptions would be upended. They would meet social workers, judges, support networks and foster carers, learning not only about the process, but also about the wider social and political realities of adoption – its complicated history, past injustices and ever-evolving future. 
 
So Many Ways to Belong is the handhold Carol wishes she’d had two decades ago, when doubt and uncertainty shadowed every step. Honest, illuminating and essential reading for those whose life has been—or may yet be—touched by adoption, and for anyone wanting to better understand its story, this is an empathetic exploration of belonging, identity and our very human need for rootedness: to know who we are, where we’ve come from, and how we fit in.

Carol Atherton

Atherton must be an inspiring teacher if her marvellous book is anything to go by ... Profound and empathetic ... Highly entertaining ... An engrossing book and a testament to a life well lived

Original and clever ... You want to force this book on the educational experts and politicians who are so sure they know how schools should operate. If your children are studying English literature, they should read this. But if you love books, you will want to read it yourself.

She demonstrates how a generous and attentive teacher is able to wrestle meaning and relevance ... Nothing is more valuable than teaching a subject that encourages young minds to push beyond the confines created by the algorithms of social media, which is where her pupils live when they are not underlining bits of text in coloured Biro. Unlike any Stem subject, “doing English” requires young readers to enter imaginatively into the lives of others. And that, for “Miss”, remains the greatest transferable skill of all.

Gentle and humane, a tribute to a vocation as much as to a discipline

Beautifully written, sensitive and full of warmth ... A vital point of reflection for anyone who has taught, or been taught, English literature ... Thought provoking and illuminating

Reading Lessons is many books in one: a fresh and frank memoir of almost three decades as a secondary school English teacher, a love letter to literature itself, and a compelling argument for why young people continue to need novels, poems and plays ... At a time when English is under attack as an academic subject, Carol Atherton’s powerful defence of it reminds us what we are in danger of losing.

Robert Douglas-Fairhurst, author of The Turning Point

'Essential ... At a time when the importance of the arts in education is being eroded, Reading Lessons makes a powerful case for the study of literature. If you are in the job you are in because you loved literature at school - or even if you didn't love it so much - this book is for you'

This exhilarating report from the educational frontline shows how literature can excite – but also perplex – young readers. Indeed, it shows how the excitement and the perplexity often belong together

John Mullan, author of The Artful Dickens

Generous, humane and constantly surprising. An urgent defence of the power of literature to create empathetic, interrogative citizens

Emma Smith, author of Portable Magic: A History of Books and their Readers

A beautiful, thoughtful, vital book about the importance of stories. I loved every page ... Her story is fascinating and moving and one everybody should read, but especially any teacher of English who might be wondering if there’s any point to what they’re doing…there’s every point!

Magnificent ... Reading Lessons is enlightening, moving and surprisingly emotional. Filled with humanity and love, this book speaks to the very heart of who we are

For those of us who credit our English teacher for our love of books, this is the perfect read. An exploration of the books taught at school, written by a teacher of 30 years, this is a gorgeous tribute to both teachers and the power of literature.

inews, The 14 most underrated books of 2024

Marvellous…The book is part memoir, part love letter to teaching…and also a profound and empathetic guide to the literature studied in our classrooms, full of shrewd asides and gritty asides from a sensitive reader

An English Teacher’s Love Letter to the Books that Shape Us

How can a Victorian poem help teenagers understand YouTube misogyny? Can Jane Eyre encourage us to speak out? What can Lady Macbeth teach us about empathy? Should our expectations for our future be any greater than Pip’s? And why is it so important to make space for these conversations in the first place? 
 
In a career spanning almost three decades, English teacher Carol Atherton has taught generations of students texts that will be familiar to many of us from our own schooldays. But while the staples of exam syllabuses and reading lists remain largely unchanged, their significance – and their relevance – evolves with each class, as it encounters them for the first time. 
 
Each chapter of Reading Lessons invites us to take a fresh look at these novels, plays and poems, revealing how they have shaped our beliefs, our values, and how we interact as a society. As she recalls her own development as a teacher, Atherton emphasizes the vital, undervalued role a teacher plays, illustrates how essential reading is for developing our empathy and makes a passionate case for the enduring power of literature.

Carol Atherton

Praise for Reading Lessons

Atherton must be an inspiring teacher if her marvellous book is anything to go by ... Profound and empathetic ... Highly entertaining ... An engrossing book and a testament to a life well lived

Original and clever ... You want to force this book on the educational experts and politicians who are so sure they know how schools should operate. If your children are studying English literature, they shou ...

She demonstrates how a generous and attentive teacher is able to wrestle meaning and relevance ... Nothing is more valuable than teaching a subject that encourages young minds to push beyond the confines crea ...

Atherton must be an inspiring teacher if her marvellous book is anything to go by ... Profound and empathetic ... Highly entertaining ... An engrossing book and a testament to a life well lived

Original and clever ... You want to force this book on the educational experts and politicians who are so sure they know how schools should operate. If your children are studying English literature, they shou ...

She demonstrates how a generous and attentive teacher is able to wrestle meaning and relevance ... Nothing is more valuable than teaching a subject that encourages young minds to push beyond the confines crea ...

Atherton must be an inspiring teacher if her marvellous book is anything to go by ... Profound and empathetic ... Highly entertaining ... An engrossing book and a testament to a life well lived

Original and clever ... You want to force this book on the educational experts and politicians who are so sure they know how schools should operate. If your children are studying English literature, they shou ...

She demonstrates how a generous and attentive teacher is able to wrestle meaning and relevance ... Nothing is more valuable than teaching a subject that encourages young minds to push beyond the confines crea ...

Books by Carol Atherton

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